You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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this website...

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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