What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Women's Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops