What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Like this joke

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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jack shine has boobs

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WNBA

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Obama.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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96

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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