Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

Hi colton

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

I have read the Terms of Service.

96

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...