What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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women's rights

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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