Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

-Knock knock -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops