what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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lol

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Avery has crabs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Black people

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Women's Rights

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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