Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Black people are clen.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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