Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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69

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Rebecca Black.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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