If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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