Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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This joke isnt funny.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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