Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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