What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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no u

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Tacos

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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KEVIN HART

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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