When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Women

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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