What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Hummer.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Where else? The junk yard

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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