Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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oops

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Your mum is dead

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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I don't get it

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Tweet.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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