Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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This is not Will Smith.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Women

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Please don't rape me.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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Penis

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Canada

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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