how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

Dead babies.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

a horse walks into a barn

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...