What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down +36

come along children

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

go go gadget

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +32

That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

thumb_up thumb_down +30

69

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops