What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Where else? The junk yard

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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but there is a road to the super market

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Women Drivers.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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