What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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Womens rights.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

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A van drives into a car.

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What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Get in the van

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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My children are mistakes

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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