Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo mama so fat she died

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hi my name is? joe

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops