The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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I dislike old people.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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