You're so straight!

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Canada

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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Golf.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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