What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Canada's army

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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but there is a road to the super market

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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