How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

What's not red? No tomatoes.

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

Wanna hear a joke? No.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

-Knock knock -Come on in!

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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