There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

the joke below me is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

W.N.B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops