When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Gadaffi

thumb_up thumb_down +5

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

96

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is brown and smells? Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To mamas so fat shes fat

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar...n

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Nazi ran into a Bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops