how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

thumb_up thumb_down -42

If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Women Drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Black man walks out of a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

thumb_up thumb_down +35

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops