Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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