Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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A homeless person dies.

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Don't rape me!

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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oops

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Josh kissing a girl

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It's your mother, open the door.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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