Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops