what did the man say to the other man? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

go go gadget

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops