Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Knock Knock Good one...

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Men's rights

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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I can't think of a joke!

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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aaaa

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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