I dislike old people.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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My sister has to take a dump

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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drugs.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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barack osama

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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