roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

I can't think of a joke!

What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...