What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Pianca going ham

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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What will happen when a black person die they die

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hahaha

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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