Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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That's what he said.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops