Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops