A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Noah is Smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

thumb_up thumb_down +34

"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops