What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Slavery

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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womans rights

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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gay marriage.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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I came.

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops