How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

The WNBA

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

Mmmm, donuts

Kate

If life throws you lemons Catch them

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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