Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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PENIS

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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chuck norris

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Bing

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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A man walks into a bar.

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A van drives into a car.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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but there is a road to the super market

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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