Dan O'Driscoll

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Justin Bieber

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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There is a car full of black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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