that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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jack shine has boobs

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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George W. Bush

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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