Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Pickle!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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Real jokes.

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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