Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

Exactly what?

Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

George W. Bush

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

The glass is half an hour.

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

sixty....eight.

What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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