Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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