why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Fruitcake

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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