What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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