What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Womens rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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What break when you talk?

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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So dont touch it

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404 Error: Joke not found

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

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A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Where else? The junk yard

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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