Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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I dislike old people.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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