whats round and like a ball a ball

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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Black people are clen.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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